I never thought I was cut out to be a stay at home mammy. In fact I didn’t really want to be. Hell, I even wrote a whole blog post about it. That was then but here I am some two years on and I’m exactly what I didn’t want to be. Except I changed my mind.
I’m a stay at home mammy by choice now and I am utterly delighted I made the decision to be with Aidan and Sarah full time. Granted, I’m only three weeks in to my new role but thus far I have loved every second of it.
So why the change of heart, I hear you ask? There were a number of reasons. First and foremost I was so so sick of rushing. The mornings were a rush. I rushed to get ready. I rushed the kids to get dressed. I rushed them through their breakfast. I then rushed them out the door to the childminders and to playschool. Thereafter I rushed to work. I rushed home to collect them. I rushed to cook a dinner and then I rushed them to bed. Everything was a rush.
Of course I couldn’t stay at home with them if it wasn’t financially possible for us. And it wasn’t until now. The recession treated us well with regard to house prices. We bought when the market was on it’s knees. We got a bargain. However the crash wasn’t so kind on Daddy Chambers. A carpenter by trade, work dried up for him in about 2010. He was forced to take a job he hated; a job that had nothing to do with carpentry but it was a job we were thankful for at the time. He was miserable in it at time though. Truth be told he was miserable there more often than not. But then he had a brainwave. Possibly the best brainwave he ever had.
He left the job that was making him miserable and after much discussion he returned to be an apprentice; a 30-year-old first year electrical instrumentation apprentice with a seven month old son. It was a huge leap of faith by him and it wasn’t easy on us financially I can tell you. We got through the four years though and in hindsight it was the best decision he ever made. He works as an instrumentation technician and I haven’t a notion what that even is. It pays the bills though, he’s in demand and most importantly it allows me to now stay at home with Aidan and Sarah.
I never thought I’d be able to cope at being a stay at home mammy. I thought I’d be crap at it. I thought I would make my own children miserable. And do you know what, a while back I probably would have. If you’re a regular reader of this blog you’ll know I suffer from mental health issues. If you’re not let me tell you I suffer from a stress and anxiety disorder. Now though, I have it under control. I have to work on it but I’m 100 per cent more calmer and happier than I was. Had I not got this under control there is no way I could have become a stay at home mammy even though all the rushing around was probably stressing me even more.
Despite all the above I still questioned whether or not I was doing the right thing. I have worked all my life. I started working in my father’s shop back in my early teens and, up until last month, have always been employed. I’m really lucky that I have this blog, it keeps me busy but puts no pressure on my day to day life. I’m also lucky to have the ability to do ‘nixers’, be they writing ones or design ones.
I’m delighted I finished up work when I did. I got the end of the summer holidays with the kids. They get to be at home with me and, importantly for them, at home with their friends in the estate, before we up sticks and move everything to Navan in a couple of weeks. Lazy mornings, sunny days and having no where to be are delightful right now.
When the time comes for school in a few weeks I’ll be the one dropping them off. I’ll be the one picking them up. I will do their homework with them and a dinner cooked by me will be put on front of them. They can have play dates in their own house. They can go to after school activities mid-week. I am so thankful to be in a position to do that. I never once thought that I would be or that I would want to be.
Two wonderful childminders took amazing care of Aidan and Sarah over the last few years. The kids were happy but what’s that saying? Home is where the heart is, that it! And I already see a huge change in them both. They are happier. More content. Calmer. And so am I.