No, you haven’t read the title of this post wrong! You’d be forgiven for thinking you did though. So myself, my mother, who hobbles around on a crutch, and the two kids, decided to pop in to Navan Shopping Centre for a look around yesterday. I left my wallet in the multi-story car park, so myself and the four-year-old went to the car to get it.
It was at that point that Granny announced she was taking two year old Sarah to Dealz to pick up a few bits, including kiddy toothpaste. I thought no more about it and headed to the car.
On my return Granny and Sarah were in Dealz so myself and Aidan waited outside. There’s a few of those children’s rides that you put money in directly in front of the shop so they kept Aidan busy. Out the other pair come from Dealz. “What did you get,” says I to Sarah. “Toothpaste,” she excitedly exclaimed, and she handed me the tube.
Well I nearly fell out of my standing and I started to roar laughing. It turns out it wasn’t toothpaste, granny, had in fact bought the two year old a tube of lube called Nooky! It happened, granny bought the two year old lube!
Granny could not understand why I was laughing so hard. It was at that point I informed her that she bought her toddler granddaughter a tube of lube! “What’s lube,” she asks, quite loudly outside the shop. I shoved the tube of lube in to the bag and dragged the three of them back to the car.
It turns out that granny forgot to bring her glasses in to town! It also turns out that Sarah carried the lube to the cash desk and handed it over to the cashier! What must he or she have thought? Did she consider ringing social services? I know I would have seriously considered it! Do you not have to be over 18 to buy this stuff? Or is it acceptable to buy it if your granny is with you?!
And wasn’t granny quick off the mark too? That new range of adult, I stress adult, stuff was only introduced by Dealz this week! Maybe she’s not telling me something. She’s widowed seven years now; has she a new man and was too embarrassed to buy the lube herself and then she played dumb when she was caught?! I doubt it somehow, I really do.
She’s a 68-year-old woman, a country woman who once told me to buy something for her on Baywatch! She meant Ebay in case you’re wondering! I wouldn’t exactly call her sheltered but she’s sheltered enough not to know what lube is. Having to explain that one to her in the car on the way home wasn’t exactly a conversation I thought I’d ever have with her.
Maybe she read the old blog post of mine, the one where I compare romance before kids and romance after, and was trying to tell me something!
So there you have it! Granny bought the two year old lube. Sure what else would she be doing of a Thursday! It was quite the eventful day for us all.