I pride myself on being organised. I have to because I fluster easily. Very easily. This is particularly true since returning to work in June.
My freezer is full of dinners for Aidan and Sarah and some lunches. I don’t have time to be cooking when I get in from work so it’s handy to whip out a spag bol that has defrosted over the day and fill their bellies before they head off to the leaba for the night.
It’s only after they go to bed that the real work starts. Every evening a load of washing goes on, bottles have to be washed and sterilised and left ready for Sarah for the following day. Myself or Daddy Chambers chop up piles of fruit, make the sandwiches and pack it all into the kid’s bags ready to accompany them to the childminder’s house the next day. Dinner’s accompanying carb, be it pasta or rice, is cooked up, cooled and shoved in the fridge. I even go so far as putting the uncooked porridge into bowls with spoons for the morning (yes I really am that anal!).
With Daddy Chambers up, out and long gone to work before the rest of us arise, all the previous night’s organisation pays off. It makes for calm, stress free mornings.
Who am I kidding?! The morning madness with kids never ends! Stress free my behind. No matter how much organising I do, the proverbial still manages to hit the fan and I leave the house a dishevelled stress head!
Some mornings are worse than others. Take last Tuesday for example. I got up at around 6.30am and hopped into the shower for about 20 seconds. In the middle of trying to lob on a bit of make-up I hear Aidan bellowing ‘mammy’ down the hall so I leg it and get him before he wakes Sarah. Into the room he comes and within seconds he had covered his face with eyeshadow and spilled the glass of water that was on the bedside locker.
Next thing Sarah is awake so I stick on the television for Aidan and head into her. She smells like a sewer so I throw her up on the changing table and whip off the babygro to discover it’s a poonami. A baby wipe would not suffice in this instance.
I leg it into the bathroom with the soiled baby under my arm and put on the shower before taking off the nappy. I hose her down and problem solved. Until I turned around that is.
The television failed to hold Aidan’s attention, instead he was part taking in a dirty protest with his sister’s nappy that I had foolishly left on the floor!
I eventually manage to wrestle the nappy off him, clean up and march him back to the sitting room for a spot of Peppa Pig. I get Sarah dressed and plonk her on the bed drinking a bottle while I get myself dressed.
Next minute I hear one of the neighbours in my kitchen. She had found Aidan wandering outside in his pajamas after I forgot to lock the door when I put the nappy out in the wheelie bin.
At the end of my tether, I give him a bowl of porridge, which he throws at me, while Sarah pukes hers all over the fresh clothes. Time is ticking away at this stage, I need to be on the road. I change herself quickly and scrub the breakfast off the floor. I then herd Aidan out to the car as if he was a cow. There’s tears and lots of them for no apparent reason. He’s still bawling when the minder opens her door but at this stage I don’t care! I’m just glad to be handing the madness over to her.
When I hop back in the car I catch a glimpse of myself in the rear view mirror. I have eye shadow and mascara on one eye, the other is as bare as a baby’s bum. There is porridge stuck in my hair; I basically look like a hobo. All my organisation was for nothing. I’m going to have to start getting up at 3am if I’m to get out of the house looking human and avoid the morning madness with kids. I take my hat off to mothers who arrive to work looking glam as hell, as I cower in the corner hoping nobody notices the weird eye! Even with mammy make up tips from my make up artist Pamela, I still look disheveled!
So, just how do you other mammys and daddies manage the morning madness with kids or is that even possible?