Before I had kids I never really thought about cream crackers. I never really thought about McDonald’s Happy Meals. I never really thought about Weetabix. And I never really thought about Play Doh. However now, as a parent, I think about them all the time. Probably too much if I’m really honest. They are my parenting hates.
The aforementioned things really don’t make this Mammy happy. In fact they annoy me no end. They are my parenting hates! Perhaps I shouldn’t let them annoy me but they do. Some annoy me more than others and top of that list is Play Doh, or devil’s doh as I like to call it. Is there really a parent out there that actually likes the stuff?
My Sarah loves it. Aidan not so much but he’d have a good old play with it if it was put in front of him all the same. The thing is, it’s rarely put in from of him or his little sister. I absolutely never buy Play Doh. Why? Well because it’s as messy as bedamned, that’s why. It’s not just a little bit messy, it’s a whole lot of messy and it’s difficult messy too.
I try my very best to enforce a Play Doh at the table only rule but kids, well mine anyway, aren’t very good at adhering to rules. The majority of the Play Doh does stay on the table but the rest of it ends up matted in to Sarah’s hair, hard and in between the floor board and the rest stuck in carpets and mats in rooms that it’s not even meant to be in in the first place. I usually don’t notice it until a few days later and at the point it’s hard and stuck in to the fibres and it’s bloody difficult to get out.
I always tell Sarah to put away her Play Doh after she’s finished with it, as in put it back in the tubs and put the lids on them. However I’m secretly hoping she doesn’t and then I just leave it there for a few days safe in the knowledge that it will be hard and useless by the time she comes back to it! It has to go in the bin then and when she moans I use the I told you so line and of course never ever let on that I’m so delighted the Play Doh has died and gone to hell!
So many tubs have gone to hell in Chez Chambers yet more just keep on appearing. She had her birthday party recently and when she got home she took to opening her presents. Like any four year old she went for the big present first. She tore off the wrapping excitedly and then exclaimed, “look Mammy, I got all the Play Doh in the world.” I stood at the kitchen island and smiled through gritted teeth and told her her what a wonderful gift it was. Inside I was dying but I couldn’t rain on her parade. For the love of God though, I don’t understand why other parents buy their children’s friends Play Doh. They should know better! What’s wrong with a few crayons or colouring pencils?! And I’m not ungrateful but see the above words!
For the record I’m not all doom and gloom. I don’t quell Sarah’s creativeness all the time. That would be unfair. When I buy Play Doh I buy it from an Irish company online called Clayotic, I think they are based in Dundalk. Their product is amazing and it isn’t the spawn of the devil. It doesn’t stick in carpets, or floorboards or hair. So other mammies take note!
To a lesser degree I really dislike cream crackers and for a while there it was all they would eat. And they would usually ask for them the very second I finished vacuuming the house.
Since we’ve moved I haven’t made them go cold turkey on the cream crackers but I have weaned them somewhat and instead give them the cream crackers’ less messy cousin breadsticks. They still crave the crackers off course so I just send them with them in their lunchboxes to school. That way the poor old teacher can deal with the thousands of crumbs and not me! She’s a saint anyway, so I bet she doesn’t mind!
Another one of my parenting hates is McDonald’s Happy Meals. Well not the meals themselves but the bloody toys that come with it. We don’t even go to McDonalds all that often yet we seem to have endless bits of plastic from the Happy Meals toys scattered all over the house. And if I throw just one tiny bit of plastic s*ite out there is tears reminiscent to that of a child who has just been told that their holidays top Disneyland have been cancelled! And the days I do manage to throw some of them in the bin is always the day that that very piece of cheap plastic rubbish is the must have piece of plastic rubbish in their minds.
To a much lesser extent I’m not a huge fan of Weetabix. Not because I actually don’t like the taste of it but have you ever tried to remove it from a surface once it has dried in? Ah Jaysus, it would break your heart.
Mine eat it every single morning, 365 days a year. Most of those mornings I’m rushing and don’t clean up after breakfast until I get home from the school run. By that time the Weetabix has dried and I do have to really give the cleaning some welly to get it off. Of course it’s also stuck on the chairs, which I normally don’t notice until hours later and by then it’s five times as hard to get out!
I’m some ray of sunshine, aren’t I?! What are your parenting hates?