My pair are great craic altogether, lovely to hang out with and my life would be a whole lot emptier without them. Being a mammy is hard though, as is being a daddy. Life is non-stop. I seriously take my hat out to all the single parents out there. I really don’t know how you do it.
I hope Daddy Chambers doesn’t read this because I’m about to admit to a few things I do when, well lets call a spade a spade, when sometimes I just can’t be arsed parenting. Can any of you fellow parents relate?
There’s a couple of days a week when I work late and Daddy Chambers collects Aidan and Sarah from the childminders, gives them their dinner and puts them to bed. However, some days I actually get finished early but instead of rushing home to the madhouse I hang tight in work. Just long enough to know the pair will be in bed and I know I can walk into a quiet house. Anyone else? Or am I just a bad mammy?!
And then of course there’s the times when one of them wakes in the middle of the night and I play the ‘I’m a real heavy sleeper and can’t hear them game’! I’m really good at that game. In fact I think if it was to be introduced as an Olympic sport I’d return from the games with a big round lump of gold around my neck! Oh and I’m also excellent at pretending not to smell a dirty nappy when in the company of Daddy Chambers in the hope he’ll get to it first! And does it really matter of one tiny corner of a baby vest is just a tiny bit damp? Not to me anyway because sometimes I just can’t be arsed with adulting!
I don’t always shirk my responsibilities mind you. I just wanted to make that clear but have recently got myself a cleaner. As above, sometimes I just can’t be arsed with adulting and nor do I have the time to properly clean the house. She comes once a week, on a Wednesday, and does the horrible jobs I wasn’t even that fond of when I did have the time. I’m often off work on a Thursday and when I wake up to a lovely clean house and think about how upside down it’s going to be when Aidan and Sarah get up, I make a plan. The plan usually includes a trip somewhere or other, normally down to my mother’s in Navan because she’s much more relaxed about her house. Aidan and Sarah pull everything out of her presses, cover her floors in crumbs and jump in her made up beds and she doesn’t bat an eyelid. In my defence I do offer to clean it up before I leave but more often than not she tells me to leave as she has nothing better to be doing anyway! I usually stay down with her in Navan until bedtime, change the kids into their pajamas and when they fall asleep on the way home I just lift them from the car to their beds and hey presto, it’s quiet time again and my house is still spotless!
Speaking of bedtime, both Sarah and Aidan, thankfully, go down at 7pm and it’s always my job to settle the latter. Why? Because he’s so much easier to put down than Sarah. He has a small beaker of milk, pronounces it ‘all gone’, hands me the beaker, demands a kiss and rolls over. From start to finish you’re talking three minutes.
Sarah, on the other hand, is a little trickier. She will not go into her cot awake. She has to have a snuggle while drinking her milk, sometimes roars when that’s gone and demands more, and then needs even more snuggles before she eventually drifts off. It can take a half an hour and I’m quite happy to let Daddy Chambers handle that one.
I quite often throw clothes that clearly say ‘do not tumble dry’ into the tumble dryer because, yeah you guessed it, sometimes I just can’t be arsed with adulting; I can’t be arsed hanging them up to dry. Oh and there’s times when I don’t pick them up from the childminders if I finish work early. Is it wrong to want an half an hour or and hour of time to myself? I love to head home first and have a cup of tea and listen to the silence.
Then there’s the grocery shopping. I always offer to do it. Aren’t I such a good wife! It’s usually done on a Sunday morning and taking two children to the supermarket would be a very bad move so I am only too delighted to get out and do it. I sometimes walk really, really slowly around the aisles too! I even love the check out experience now because I got my hands on Trolley Bags!
I better stop now before I let all my dirty secrets out of the bag! I also better hope my other half doesn’t see this or else I’m in trouble or I may face a dose of my own medicine! But there you have it, sometimes I just can’t be arsed with adulting!